A Proud Bubbe Feels Hopeful at Her Grandson's Bar Mitzvah in Fraught Times.

Seventy Thoughts on Turning Seventy

This proud bubbe is kvelling! My first grandson, Tyler Gerald Jacobs became a Bar Mitzvah on Saturday April 26, 2025 in Brookline Massachusetts. Tyler, with the love, guidance and support of his parents Jason and Ali, along with the encouragement of his loving sister Shayna, delivered a flawless recitation from Leviticus - a portion of the Torah ( the first five books of the Old Testament). In addition to leading the entire service, he shared his interpretation of this Torah portion, teaching us the lessons he gleaned from his studies. He wowed us with the depth of his insight and breadth of his knowledge -- delivered with a confident generosity of spirit.

In the Jewish tradition, a young man ( and since the 1970's a young woman - a topic for another essay!) when he turns thirteen, undergoes a rite of passage which prepares him to take his place among the adults in the Jewish community. The preparation for this ritual includes years of intense study where the Bar Mitzvah boy learns how to read from the Torah in Hebrew, how to chant the verses in an ancient system of notes and tones and reflects deeply on the meaning and relevance of what he's read. He also learns the Hebrew liturgy so he can lead the Sabbath Service. These acts of preparation develop the habits of mind the child will need in becoming an ethical adult - literacy, study, intellectual analysis, moral reflection and spiritual connection -- all done in community with others. And as Tyler said, one of the things he likes best about Judaism is that it is open to inquiry and interpretation, even by a 13 year old like him.

Of course, I am a proud Bubbe, but on Saturday I was in awe of this young man, confident in himself and his Judaism as he shared this moment with dozens of friends from all different backgrounds and faiths. Only a few of the young attendees were Jewish and for some, this was their first encounter with Jewish traditions. That Tyler could bring all of his classmates and hockey team members together, with heritages and histories from different religions and parts of the world to celebrate this milestone with joy and love is a testament to the kind of person my grandson is, shaped by the experiences his parents have provided for him and the values they’ve instill by example.

This is a fraught time of be a Jew in this country. And thirteen year olds are aware of what is happening in the Middle East as well as on the political front here at home. The guests and congregation stood together as the rabbi led us in a prayer for peace for the Israeli and Palestinian people and for the end of extremism and violence on all sides. She added the words "for the whole world" to the traditional prayer for peace for the Jewish people. And we bowed our heads for what we know is possible.

As I watched these Gen Alpha children, come together to honor their friend by witnessing this important moment in his life, then dancing, singing and playing on the dance floor in one inclusive sea of smiling faces and jumping bodies, all chanting "Tyler! Tyler! Tyler!" I felt a twinge of optimism for the future.

At the very end of the party, the DJ gathered all the guests in a large circle on the dance floor then passed the mic around so each person could say one word about Tyler. "Energetic!" "Kind!" "Athletic!" "Smart!" And my favorite -- one that was repeated by many -- "JOYFUL!"

I imagine I will be writing more about this weekend in the coming weeks and months - there were so many moments of grace and vignettes of joy and connection to share. For now, I share my deep respect for this young man and his parents, who set the bar so very high for him and how he meets and exceeds those expectations all the time.

My heart has been cracked open by this diverse circle of children who embraced their friend with love and joy. I saw the future and it was reflected in the camaraderie of these children of so many different faiths and cultures at my grandson’s Bar Mitzvah!

We old folk must not be overwhelmed by despair nor wallow in cynicism. It is our sacred duty to do all we can to fight against the forces which want to steal a better more just and inclusive future from these children. We must take our cue from them and make sure our leaders work to condemn and conquer violence, extremism injustice and hate.

We must not let them down!

L'Chaim!

#proudbubbe!!!